[Having realized that there is no point in taking precautions against things that don't seem to be anywhere close to the real danger of St. Edelweiss, Duo doesn't bother to tap his messages for Heero out in Morse code.]

Heero: quit being a dickface and talk to me. Some shit is going down and I think you should know about it.

[/panicked breathing grows steadily louder as it transforms itself into a series of ragged words]

...voices? what are all these voices doing outside my head?

[a cough and a wheeze]

Could someone tell me where the hell I am? Or at least come and find me? I don't want to die alone.

All right, pay attention. Duo would like everyone to know... the doctor gave him a new tongue to replace the one Quatre-- what in the. What does this say? "Effed up?" You write like this? Honest to God... (brief pause.)

What was I saying.

Ah. Tongue has been replaced, but his voice isn't working and he doesn't know why.

[There's a thump as Duo is tossed on his ass back into the cell, and a short sharp grunt of pain. Cross, your roomie's back from therapy. No injury is visible, though Duo doesn't exactly look well. Duo drags himself to the intercom and says loudly, or tries to, in a strange, thick voice]

Ba --

[chokes on the word, unable to complete the final 'ck ( Read more... )

fuckin' hell do I gotta make a goddamn sign outta LED lights and wood chips and streamers made outta my damn pants before you thick fucks figure it out.

[directed to River and Cross] Well, I'm gonna just leave Old Man to you, pal. I gotta go take a shower ( Read more... )

Heero? Amazing Amnesia Man? I wasn't just imagining you yesterday... right? We gotta talk, stat. Trowa, heard from Wufei yet?

I don't know what everybody's complainin' about! I goddamn love being naked. I wish I could be naked more. 'Cause if you can see my backside, you can fucking kiss it.

Wufei, if it turns out you've been meditating again, I'm gonna find your room and blow it up with nothing more than my will just to give you something to really think about. C'mon, Chang, give a holler. Ya still around?

[waits... all of two seconds]

Look, anybody see a constipated-looking Chinese dude at the party?

OW!

Son of a bitch, what the fuck --

[sounds of some scrambling, sheets rustling]

Old man. Yo! Old man! Move over! Something's yanking my hair, I think it got caught between the bed and the wall or -- [dawning horror] Wait, what? Is this --

Fuck, are you fucking KIDDING ME?!

[...helpless laughterThis is just retarded now. All right, new roomie, I can deal, and uh, I see your soul-patch matches the drapes -- yeeeeah, the hair down is a good idea. Definitely a good idea -- and yanno, I'm glad not to be buck-ass around a little girl, but this is just ( Read more... )